Just 10,000 More Calories to Heaven

Holy Mother of God.

“LEVEL ONE: A bun, grilled with cheese and bacon. It supports a 7 oz. cheeseburger, chicken fried bacon, chili cheese dog-burger, 7 oz. cheeseburger, and chicken-fried bacon.

LEVEL TWO: Grilled cheese with bacon, a 7 oz. cheeseburger, chicken fried bacon, chili cheese dog-burger, 7 oz. cheeseburger, and chicken-fried bacon.

LEVEL THREE: Grilled cheese with bacon, a fried egg, cooked to order, topped with onion rings and garnished – no, crowned – with Faribault Creamery cheese curds.”

Calories: Approximately 10,000. Cost: “$25, not counting medical care. By the way, we are not liable for injury,” warned Emerson. “You WILL be asked to sign a waiver” (see below).

This is all from Burger Jones, a Minneapolis burger bar seeking a bit of online attention. Well, after that photo I’m happy to give it to them. While some might find this burger to be an example of American consumptive extravagance, I see it more as a conceptual art piece designed to lay bare the fattiest contents of our diet without judgment. If you eat this in one sitting, you could die. But how many sittings would it take to eat it normal portions? Probably only a couple dozen. There’s something more here than a humorous, “fuck-you organic hippies!” sentiment. People are eating this every day, piece by piece, and we still don’t really know whether to celebrate or despite it, even though greasy foods are a center of our cultural experience. The war on saturated fat hasn’t lowered heart disease, and the war on obesity hasn’t made Americans skinnier. So do we need to do more, or sit back and enjoy our caloric arts?