Archive for the Fake Meat Category

My Pork Chop is a Chocolate Cake!

Posted in Fake Meat, STUFF ABOUT MEAT, WEBCOMICS with tags on March 25, 2009 by chomposaurus

The Chocochop: a delicious deception. From Dinosaur Comics; full details on the construction of the chocolate cake pork chop here.

Building a Better Cowreactor

Posted in Beef, Fake Meat, MEAT POLITICS with tags , on May 21, 2008 by chomposaurus’s Green Lantern blog takes a closer look at the reality of making beef in a lab. The article tells us some utterly fascinating details about how labmeat is made to taste more like real cow:

There has also been talk of adding polysaccharide beads to the bioreactors; as the temperature or acidity of the solution changes, these beads would expand or contract, thus providing the necessary workout for the nascent tissue. The beads would likely be made from the exoskeletons of arthropods and are completely nontoxic.

However, it throws cold water on the idea that you’ll be buying artificial wursts in your local Safeway next year:

Despite considerable hubbub over the technology in recent months, we’re still years—or, more likely, decades—away from affordable lab-grown meat. The current experiments are taking place in bioreactors that measure only a few hundred milliliters in volume, and the longest complete muscle tissues are just 2 centimeters long. Researchers are nowhere close to scaling up their production to market-ready levels, to say nothing of market-ready prices. A Dutch team’s lab-grown pork, for example, would cost around $45,000 per pound—assuming they could make an entire pound of the stuff.

But it’s good to dream about having my own portable beef-growing bioreactor in the basement.

Waffle Fryday: Back That Chip Butty Up, Girl.

Posted in Fake Meat with tags , , , on May 16, 2008 by chomposaurus

As a good Irish Catholic (read: not good at all), I must celebrate meatless fridays with… a meatless friday. Fortunately my craving for grease and fat need not go unfulfilled, as I can just have what the English call a Chip Butty: A sandwich filled with french fries. It’s really an ingenius invention, and the most efficient delivery device for massive amounts of fries.

In New Orleans, they have the French Fry po-boy (courtesy Off the Broiler):

Awesome. Dr. Atkins is rolling over in his grave. Now we need a version with waffle fries. The Waffle Asser? Until then, the Chipizza will have to do:

Mmmm, with sausage.

With Meat/Without Meat

Posted in Fake Meat, Pork with tags , on May 12, 2008 by chomposaurus

An insightful essay on about vegetarian myths. Essential reading for all who want to know more about the truth of life without meat.

Now, when I say that vegetarians are normal people with normal food cravings, many omnivores will hoist a lamb shank in triumph and point out that you can hardly call yourself normal if the aroma of, say, sizzling bacon doesn’t fill you with deepest yearning. To which I reply: We’re not insane. We know meat tastes good; it’s why there’s a freezer case at your supermarket full of woefully inadequate meat substitutes. Believe me, if obtaining bacon didn’t require slaughtering a pig, I’d have a BLT in each hand right now with a bacon layer cake waiting in the fridge for dessert.

Or perhaps you’d prefer Beer Cheese Cupcakes with Bacon Cheddar Cream Cheese Frosting.

Can of Cheeseburger

Posted in Burgers, Fake Meat, Fast Food with tags on May 12, 2008 by chomposaurus

Earlier this year, The Onion did a test of a new product out of Germany: Cheeseburger-in-a-Can. That’s right, you just have to take it out and heat it up, bun, fixin’s and meat pre-assembled! The results were predictably disgusting. Go read the hilarious review at the A/V Club.

Some of the best reactions:

• “It’s like Upton Sinclair nightmare bratwurst.”

• “I cannot swallow this. It will not go down.”

• “It tastes like something that was dropped on the floor. It tastes like a 7-Eleven hamburger that’s been sitting around in the store for a couple weeks.”

I’m tagging this as Veggie Meat because I’m not sure there were any animals involved.

Best Meaty Blogs in Town

Posted in Beef, Burgers, Chicken, Fake Meat, Fast Food, Fowl, Hot Dogs, MEAT POLITICS, Pork, Sandwiches, Sausage, Seafood with tags , on May 8, 2008 by chomposaurus

Click here for our new page dedicated to keeping track of new meat blogs. Whether they be regional reviews or reports focused on a specific type of meat, you can find the best carnivorous reporting here at Chomposaurus. E-mail us at the address on the sidebar if you have a blog you’d like to suggest.

Veggie Meat Test: Tofurky Sausage

Posted in Fake Meat, Fake Meat, MEAT POLITICS, Tofurky Sausage with tags , , on May 7, 2008 by chomposaurus

One of my major campaigns here at Chomposaurus aims to convince meatlovers that you don’t have to eat meat every meal of the day to be satisfied; in fact, eating regular vegetarian meals will make your meat eating healthier, more enoyable and better for the environment.

A major source of bad meat is your quick lunch. Whether slimy baloney from a package or supermarket-brand hot dog, lunch can mean eating meat that comes and goes without doing anyone any good. Thus, I’ll review some environmentally efficient and hopefully tasty veggie substitutes.

Today’s choice is the Tofurky Sausage, a soy and wheat gluten based product that was specifically designed to replicate the grilling habits of your common sausage species. I chose the Tomato & Basil variety.
Continue reading