The Rhyme of the Ancient Manatee Hunter

As part of our dream of operating a sustainable organic manatee farm on Isla Mujeres, my friend P. Sundae and I are always doing research on the web about manatee meat facts and figures. P. asked me how much meat a typical manatee yields, and since I am his knowledge broker when it comes to aquatic mammals, I found an article with the answer – and so much more. Click here for the full tale – it’s like The Old Man and the Sea but really one-sided.

Hunting for manatees in the 1960’s was an adventure. It was a special expedition to get meat for the family and for the village. You were almost a hero when you announced that you had caught a manatee and had processed over 500 pounds of meat for the village.

Preparations began two days in advance after you announced it so that the villagers knew that there would be a fresh supply of meat for the table. Trust me, in a fishing village where one ate fish three times a day, a change to meat was like Christmas. Manatee meat sold, as far as I can remember, for ten cents a pound fresh or salted. Most families purchased ten or fifteen pounds and preserved it with salt so that it could last for a few days. To go hunting one needed a fairly large boat with an outboard motor as some chasing had to be done after the manatee was spotted. Then you needed a harpoon with a fairly long and strong rope. You also needed a fairly large and heavy wooden club. Yes, a large sharp knife was necessary to rip open the half inch thick skin of the animal and then to fillet and process the meat.

Scrapple(con)quest: Victory at Brunch; or, How I Ate Some Scrapple

Offal comes when you least expect it. There I was, sitting down to brunch at Egg, one of Brooklyn’s trenderias, when I noticed it under the meats section of the menu: “Scrapple, fresh from our farm, $3.” Would sweet success only cost me $3? Yes, especially if I convinced my dining companion to order the other thing I wanted to try, the candied bacon (coated in hard syrup candy, just as good as it sounds).

This grainy image is the only footage we have of scrapple in the wild.

But after my long months of waiting, would scrapple live up to its expectations? After all, scrapple is hog offal (heart, liver, head etc.) combined with cornmeal and mush, typically eaten in parts of Pennsylvania, so it may be a regionally acquired taste. Let me assure you, though, that it is much better than it sounds. It was fried into moist little patties, which had the consistency of hashbrowns. The taste was similar to corned beef hash, but with a fattier tang, like lamb. I’m not sure if supermarket scrapple would be this good, but with such strong flavors it would be hard to go wrong.

So having conquered scrapple in its natural environment, I’ll be tackling it next on my home turf: cooking scrapple in my kitchen. Stay tuned to this space to see if I survive.

Xmas Gifts You Didn’t Get #3: MeatWater

Is it a joke? Well, yes. The question you really have to ask yourself is: if these were for real, would you try them? If you answered yes, then congratulations, you’re a freak like me. I’m especially curious about the Rocky Mountain Oysters. Also, think of the many everyday applications: wouldn’t the traditional football-game-victory gatorade-soaking of the coach be more fitting if it was done with a cooler of Beef Jerky Water? And what better way to refresh yourself during a marathon than by splashing your face with a cup of hardy MRE Pork Chop Water (11 grams of fat per serving)? The possibilities are endless.

Thanks to The Postman for tipping me off about this great business plan.

The Offal Truth: Depression Hits The Cows

Apparently, the economic downturn massive depression is forcing some homemakers to look at alternatives to expensive meats.

Retail and food experts say that worry over the high cost of prime meat cuts and the economic downturn have more shoppers checking out supermarket offal offerings. But the return to eating innards was underway even before this year’s financial crisis, as celebrity chefs and restaurateurs have encouraged a return to cooking organs such as liver and kidneys, which once enjoyed a central place in British cooking. (See how farmers around the world prepare their crops for harvest.)

At ASDA, Britain’s second largest supermarket chain and a subsidiary of Wal-Mart, offal sales were up 20% last month compared to November 2007. Sainsbury’s, the country’s third largest supermarket chain, is selling 48% more pig livers, 22% more chicken livers and 8% more pig kidney than it was last year. Overall, sales of offal in the U.K. are expected to reach more than $62 million this year according to industry analysts Mintel.

“It’s price-driven,” says Bob Cotton, CEO of the British Hospitality Association, which represents 60,000 hotels and restaurants in the U.K. “I couldn’t say the British public have suddenly fallen in love with offal. That would be gilding the lily.”

I’m all for using the whole cow! Here are some great offal recipes:
Lamb Fries (aka Cowboy Caviar aka Balls) and Beef Tongue from Confabulist‘

Tripas à modo do Porto – The tripe stew for which Porto is famous (I have had this and it is quite tasty – like lentil soup with meat)

And something a bit more gourmet… Beef Liver with Carmelized Onions and Pecans

Yep, those are balls.

Chocolate Corn Dog

From the Korean food blogs Seoul Eats and Funk Seoul Sister: some truly nasty ass corn dogs, including one with a chocolate layer between the corn and the dog.  Apparently, korean label indicates it is actually a corn dog.

Happy Friday, everybody.

Eat Your Pets, NYC

British street artist Banksy has set up what can only be described as a bizarre and enthralling storefront art project in Greenwich Village. The Village Pet Store and Charcoal Grill uses animatronics, found art and multimedia to question just about every assumption we make about animals: how we live with them, how we live with eating them and how they live like us.

Some people seem to think this is a vegetarian protest project , but of course it’s far more subtle than that. Even for people who adore meat, there is an internal contradiction when they spend a day doing nothing but playing catch with their dog. Most of us can live with this contradiction; but most of us are not confronted with it so strikingly. Your reactions may very when you see a hotdog where a hamster should be. Whatever Banksy means, you gotta go see his store. The exhibit runs through Oct 31.

(Photos by TJ and Gothamist)

Yak! (The Animal & The Sound)

Chomposaurus covers our share of strange meat products. But we can’t come close to Weird Meat, a blog devoted specifically to one man’s quest to eat and drink the strangest culinary adventures the world has to offer. Yak patties? No problem. Deer penis wine? Yaaaak. You see how it goes.

Check out his master list to see what Chomposaurs aspires to… kind of.

[Picture, from Weird Meat, of Sea Horse Soup]

Strange Meats: Crocodile Carpaccio

Carpaccio is one of the best ways to enjoy the true essence of dead animal: it’s raw slices of meat, usually beef or pork, pounded very thin and served with garnishes. You get all the true aromas of the meat in a big, bold way. But P. Sundae found himself in South Africa faced with a very different type of carpaccio: crocodile. Here’s his report:

“The crocodile was much paler than expected. Similar to turkey, perhaps. It was served on slices of tomato, topped with cranberry. The restaurant was called De Kelder, which is supposedly the oldest Afrikaans restaurant in Port Elizabeth (PE, as the locals call it). I managed to choke down the entire Croc plate between bites of freshly baked bread. The texture was pleasant, not slimy or anything. And it had a good flavor, even raw, but the striations of fat made it tough to chew. Overall, I would say there’s a reason it’s hard to find. However my new motto is “Eat as many animals as possible before you die (from eating animals).”

So in other words, it’s edible, but not nearly as tasty as some good ol’ fashioned Florida gator.

Antelope Steak

Ubercorrespondent P. Sundae reports from South Africa:

Antelope steak, the result of population control in national parks, is dark red, gamey meat and is extremely juicy. It goes great with Mrs. Ball’s, the famous South African chutney, visible in the picture above. Overall, it was “a little chewy, but very tasty.”

According to Mr. Sundae’s park rangers, antelope meat can be produced more efficiently than beef, pork and other domestic meats; however, I couldn’t find any evidence for this on the web. All the proceeds from antelope meat go back to the parks of South Africa.

(both photos by P. Sundae)

Query of the Day, 5/28/2008

We started a new feature here on Chomposaurus, using the WordPress “google search terms” tracker to find out what questions people are asking this blog to answer. Here’s today’s anonymous query:

guinea pig meat chicago?

I guess he or she read our post last week about the Peruvian Last Supper. Anyway, after some research there appear to be two restaurants in the city by the lake where you can get some fried cuy: La Sierra and Rondador. However, it may or may not be available on a given night, and sometimes it might not show up on the menu even if they have it (silly squeamish Americans). Don’t be afraid to call ahead and ask.

Pet store owners of Chicago should beware: there may be a hungry person stopping in to ask how “fresh” your guinea pigs are. Just imagine what he or she would have done *before* google. Asking your friends if they’ve been to a restaurant with “some good cavy” is a recipe for social awkwardness.