Archive for the REVIEWS Category

Review: Trader Joe’s Turkey Jerky

Posted in Jerky, REVIEWS, STUFF ABOUT MEAT, Trader Joe's Turkey Jerky with tags , , on September 3, 2008 by chomposaurus

You know, most people like to think they’re above impulse buying. “That’s for the morons with no self-control,” they say as they pick up their usual tin of Altoids by the register. I count myself among this hypocritical bunch after impulse-buying a pack of Trader Joe’s Turkey Jerkey (teriyaki flavor) while I was standing in the massive line of hipsters and shut-ins at the Union Square flagship store. And let me tell you, I did not regret my choice.

The jerky exhibited great texture, with a little artificial “tire tread” pattern making it easier to bite. Jerky should take some effort, but not work your jaw to exhaustion. It was hard to taste the smoke flavor that was added, but the turkey came through loud and clear. The teriyaki flavoring leaned heavily towards “sweet” and away from “salt,” a good thing if you enjoy devouring an entire bag at once. I’d say the taste had an almost cherry-like fruitiness to it, reinforcing jerky’s role as the true candy of the meat world.

For under five bucks for a big bag, this turkey jerky can’t be beat by your typical low-quality grocery store brands. Check it out the next time you’re buying a cartload of 2-buck Chuck.

Makes Apple Pie Look Like Communist China

Posted in Meat Candy, Mo's Bacon Bar, REVIEWS with tags , on July 3, 2008 by chomposaurus

Review: Mo’s Bacon Bar (by Vosges Chocolate)

Look at that picture above. See the little bits in the bar of chocolate? That’s bacon, baby. Applewood smoked bacon. The good folks at Vosges Chocolate had the sense to combine two great flavors – pork and chocolate – to create this salty bar. Yes, the front of the box lists “smoked salt” as an ingredient, too, which I didn’t know existed. And the tastes go together surprisingly well. When you bite into it, first you get the deep milk chocolate (41% cacao), then you get the salt, and finally the hint of bacon. It’s not overpowering, but you definitely have a meat flavor in the corners of your mouth. It’s kind of like eating a handful of buttered popcorn and caramel-chocolate popcorn at the same time; almost like a cracker jack. And everybody likes cracker jacks. I recommend this All-American dessert for your next patriotic celebration.

Review: D’Artagnan Buffalo Hot Dogs

Posted in D'artagnan Buffalo Dog, Gourmet Dogs & Sausage, Hot Dogs, REVIEWS with tags , on June 12, 2008 by chomposaurus

This review of D’artagnan’s gourmet buffalo franks goes along with yesterday’s review of their duck dogs. The bison used were raised in Canada on a forage diet, with no antibiotics or growth hormones. The buffalo dogs had a strong smoked flavor, and definitely tasted more like a beef hot dog than any other typical type of frank. When bit, the dogs came apart in big chunks, which I liked. One of my friends agreed with me that the buffalo dogs were much better with condiments and a beer; on their own the flavor was a bit raw. My other friend, who doesn’t like condiments, thought the buffalo dogs tasted like old socks.

Bottom line: while the flavor is not as refined, if you love a heavy, pungent stick of meat that you can load up with a ton of condiments, this could be your dream wiener.

Review: D’Artagnan Duck Dogs

Posted in D'artagnan Duck Dog, Gourmet Dogs & Sausage, REVIEWS with tags on June 11, 2008 by chomposaurus

A hot dog made of duck you say? Why that’s just crazy enough to work! And D’Artagnan definitely does succeed with their succulent new gourmet duck hot dogs, made with Pekin duck fed a natural diet. All three reviewers who tried these dogs loved them – they thought they were spicy and rich, like the very best hot dogs, but with a mellower texture. Eating one was sort of like biting into the inside of a chicken tender from heaven. In fact, we agreed that condiments weren’t even necessary because these dogs were so easy to eat on their own.

The only downside to these delicious babies is that, like most duck related products, they are incredibly fatty, with about 28g per link. That’s twice as much as D’Artagnan’s other gourmet dogs. Our suggestion: just don’t tell you friends at the BBQ, and let them go on enjoying the best grilled frank they’ve had in a long, long while.

Bacon for the Endtimes

Posted in REVIEWS on June 9, 2008 by chomposaurus

Looking to ride out the apocalypse on a tidal wave of smoky flavor? Then look no further than Yoder’s new Canned Bacon!

I’d comment, but I think a can of pre-cooked bacon that lasts 10 years without refrigeration speaks for itself. Thanks to Mr. Baconpants for spotting this.

Review: Turducken Leftovers

Posted in REVIEWS, Turducken, Turducken Sandwich with tags , on June 9, 2008 by chomposaurus

I’ve spent all weekend devouring turducken sandwiches, and let me tell you, the birds get even better the third, fourth and fifth times around. It’s better than a standard leftover turkey sandwich, because the turducken has so many different flavors and different textures. Plus, it seems to have gotten spicier, which I can’t argue with. It’s been four days and I still have plenty left (even after ten people attacked the roast the night I made it), so I’m definitely getting my money’s worth.

Review: Turducken []

Posted in Chicken, Fowl, Turducken with tags , , on June 6, 2008 by chomposaurus

The amazing folks at were kind enough to ship me one of their massive turduckens to test for the blog. Don’t know what a turducken is? Well, if you want to be on the front lines of the meat frontier, you should. It’s a dish consisting of a partially de-boned turkey stuffed with a de-boned duck, which itself is stuffed with a small de-boned chicken, with layers of stuffing in-between. In this case, the total creature weighed 15 lbs, with 11.5 lbs being meat.

The birds come de-boned and pre-stuffed, wrapped up nicely in a cryovac package with the legs tied. They need to cook for about 5 hours at 325; it’s a pretty easy process, considering the amount of different animals you’re cooking at once.

The only cooking fiasco can be blamed entirely on me and my stupid failure to buy a roasting pan. Instead, I constructed one using a cookie sheet and a lot of aluminum foil. It held pretty well, until I removed the birds to cover them for their last hour of cooking. Some of the foil got caught on the rack, producing a hole through which a bit of grease leaked. After some dramatic sizzling, huge amounts of smoke came gushing out and I started to ponder whether I knew how to turn the fire alarm off for the building (I do). The crisis was averted through some quick cleaning, and the turducken came out with a nice brown crispy skin.

When the bird was carved, we were at first all puzzled as to which part was which; but once we got it on our plate, chunks of duck, chicken and both types of stuffing magically appeared. You can see it best in the picture below.
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Best New York City Meat Blogs

Posted in REVIEWS, REVIEWS [Restaurants], STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , on June 5, 2008 by chomposaurus

Eating in New York City can be like trying to have sex with an extra-terrestrial on Mars: you’re in a strange place, and you just don’t know where to begin. And a search for “NYC Food Blog” won’t necessarily help, since the city is magnet for the type of gourmet hipsters that just love to write up whatever $80 meal they enjoyed before puking it up during some binge drinking and replacing it with 3 free hotdogs from Rudy’s. That’s why I’ve found the best places to read about cheap NYC eats.

The title of best NYC food blogger goes to NYCFoodGuy, whose incredibly detailed and helpful entries about diners, burger joints, taco trucks and everything else cheap and tasty in the city make for essential reading, whether you’re moving into your Williamsburg loft or sleeping on a friend’s couch in Morningside Heights for the weekend. Go to his site, and within five minutes you’ll have found lunch and dinner spots for the next three weeks.

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Review: Australian Meat Pies []

Posted in Beef, Chicken, Meat Pastries, Meat Pies [] with tags , , on June 3, 2008 by chomposaurus

Here’s the brief Wikipedia definition of the Australian meat pie:

An Australian meat pie is a hand-sized meat pie containing largely minced meat and gravy sometimes with onion and often consumed as a takeaway food snack. It is considered iconic in both Australia and the neighbouring New Zealand. The popular brand Four’N’Twenty produce 50,000 pies per hour and Australians consume an average of 12 meat pies each per year

Twelve seems low; that’s what I could eat in a week of heavy pub-crawling. When I lived in Australia, I was thrilled to discover the meat pie; I stand by my assertion that no food better serves the drunken student masses, with their needs for grease, meat and carbs.

But where could I find them in the U.S.? This weekend, Chomposaurus reviewed four pies from the Brooklyn store and online meatpie outlet; our panel of reviewer’s thoughts lie below.
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Veggie Meat Test: Tofurky Sausage

Posted in Fake Meat, Fake Meat, MEAT POLITICS, Tofurky Sausage with tags , , on May 7, 2008 by chomposaurus

One of my major campaigns here at Chomposaurus aims to convince meatlovers that you don’t have to eat meat every meal of the day to be satisfied; in fact, eating regular vegetarian meals will make your meat eating healthier, more enoyable and better for the environment.

A major source of bad meat is your quick lunch. Whether slimy baloney from a package or supermarket-brand hot dog, lunch can mean eating meat that comes and goes without doing anyone any good. Thus, I’ll review some environmentally efficient and hopefully tasty veggie substitutes.

Today’s choice is the Tofurky Sausage, a soy and wheat gluten based product that was specifically designed to replicate the grilling habits of your common sausage species. I chose the Tomato & Basil variety.
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