Archive for the REVIEWS [Restaurants] Category

EuroChomp SausageFest 2009: Maxi Doner, the Pork Sundae of Munich

Posted in EUROCHOMP, Pork Sundae, Restaurant BBQ, REVIEWS [Restaurants] with tags , on June 10, 2009 by chomposaurus

Doner is a Turkish specialty, and since Germany has a lot of Turkish communities, it is now a German specialty as well, so much so that while in Italy later in the trip, we found Doner signs in German. Normally, ordering straight up “doner” (just say that one magic word) will get you a pita or gyro-wrap filled to the brim with shaved lamb meat, tomato, lettuce or cabbage, and yogurt sauce. But at one magical Munich doner hut, blissfully open late after many pints of dunkel, Doner was taken to the next level. For there, on the sign, was the Maxi Doner.

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It was, quite simply, the pork sundae of the continent. Atop a layer of shaved doner chicken lay fresh-fried greasy fries, doused in garlicky yogurt goodness. It’s great food for the well-lubricated mind: greasy, hot, meaty and easy to eat and transport. Mushing all three primary ingredients together created the perfect blend of potato grease, grilled meat grease, and yogurt grease, ready to do battle with whatever you’ve drank that evening. So even though we’d eaten dinner 3 hours ago, and some spaghetti ice two hours ago, we both finished our Maxi’s without a second thought.

If someone were to open up a stand selling these next to a state school football stadium, they would become millionaires in a fortnight.

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Quality Fast Food: Kelly’s Roast Beef

Posted in Beef, Kelly's Roast Beef, REVIEWS [Restaurants], STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , , , , on April 30, 2009 by chomposaurus

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On my recent triumphant return to the Chomposaurus breeding grounds of Boston, MA, I visited a mecca of meat that I had strangely neglected during my initial tenure there. Kelly’s Roast Beef has a few locations in the Boston area (for this review we went to the original at Revere Beach), pumping out metric tons of sandwiches, fried foods and chowder to the hungry New England masses. Indeed, my carnivorous companion Wyoming Rose and I were amazed that “Medium Onion Ring” equaled a literal half-a-square-foot cube of deep-fried flaky battered rings. Needless to say we did not finish them, even though they were flaky, fresh and gigantic.

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Before I move on to the main attraction, a warning: do not order the large roast beef sandwich unless you have resigned yourself to an early, coronary-propelled grave. Kelly’s Large Roast Beef Sandwich is two solid hockey pucks’ worth of moist meat packed precariously into a buttery yellow bun. I had difficulty putting it into my mouth, and believe me I have a big mouth. Only the use of generous amounts of barbecue sauce as lube allowed for easy digestion. Well, that and the beef was out of this world. It was as though your local Arby’s had gone to the neighborhood deli and gotten their best brisket for their sandwiches. You won’t top Kelly’s for quality of fast food roast beef. I was fortunate in that I needed a lot of it, too, since I was loading up for the Boston Marathon. Not to run it, mind you; but to be able to absorb the six hours of beer that watching it from the street requires.

Rose and I were also impressed with the quality of the service. You see, when the beefsmith taking our order asked what we wanted on our sandwiches, I foolishly said “everything,” figuring this was a Chicago Vienna Dog type situation. He paused and looked up at me. “Really?” He said, “Everything is pretty disgusting.” He listed about 20 items, most of which would not go together. I settled for cheese, onions, pickles and barbecue sauce – a good choice, although horseradish was also tempting. They also had no problem giving us extra buckets of bbq sauce to dip our rings in. Hooray for Yankee kindness.

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So if you have a hankering for the best beef you can eat in 10 minutes or less, Kelly’s is your place. And perhaps, finally, I have found someone to help me forget my first true roast beef love, Rax. Although it’s hard to replace lemonade served in a plastic alligator.

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Review: Bacon Pancakes

Posted in Pork, REVIEWS [Restaurants], STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , , on February 6, 2009 by chomposaurus

While visiting DC for the inauguration, I had the good fortune to stumble into Marx Cafe in Mt. Pleasant for brunch. Our motley crew of hungry, hungover men soon spotted bacon pancakes on the menu and decided we had to try some. We ordered a stack for the table and dug in.

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I was expecting little bits of bacon to be mixed into the batter. Little did I know they would meld whole strips of bacon into the flapjack, as though they were pouring the batter on top of them. While I admire the culinary swagger it takes to place an intact piece of bacon inside a pancake, I must say it probably lessened the overall effectiveness of the flavor combination. It simply tasted like you had stabbed a piece of bacon on your fork, then stabbed some pancake, then rubbed it all in syrup. Delicious? Yes. But hardly original. You can do the same at Denny’s by ordering bacon with your grand slam.

So I may have to make my own bacon pancakes to get the unique, meaty-batter experience I was looking for. And trust me, you’ll be the first to know about it.

My First Bacon-Wrapped Wiener

Posted in Bacon-Wrapped Dogs, Hot Dogs, Restaurant Hot Dogs, REVIEWS [Restaurants] with tags , , on July 16, 2008 by chomposaurus


The Tucson, AZ restaurant El Guero Canelo, which resembles a Winnebago-sized taco truck attached to a small greenhouse, serves up a large variety of southwestern favorites. But the best item on the menu will appeal to meateaters all over the world: the sonoran dog, also known as a bacon-wrapped hot dog. Most impressive is the Sammy dog, which includes two bacon-wrapped weiners in one bun. Both come covered with onions, diced tomato, relish and sour cream. Unless you speak fluent spanish, don’t count on being able to ask for one with different condiments – like I said, this place is authentic.

Since this was my first bacon-wrapped frank, I was glad it came out so delicious, with the ballpark-style dog and the sweet, greasy bacon complimenting each other nicely. The whole contraption was a ton of fun to eat, with the dog slipped into a partially-sealed (and fluffily sweet) bun. It took a lot of restraint not to go back for a second (or a third).

For more on bacon-wrapped dog controversy, check out our earlier article, Pirates of the San Fernando Valley.

The Best Cornish Meat Pasty in Arizona

Posted in Cornish Pasty, Restaurant Meat Pies, REVIEWS [Restaurants] with tags , , , on July 15, 2008 by chomposaurus


This weekend I had the distinct pleasure of eating a hunk of Great Britain in the southwestern U.S. at the Cornish Pasty Co in Tempe, AZ. The meat pasty, in case you didn’t know, involves the filling of a pastry shell with meat, vegetables, cheese and other deliciousness. It supposedly originated in the Cornish tin mines, where the miners kept the warm pastries close to their chest to help them keep warm until lunch time. Frankly, I prefer being served by a kind British pasty wench, and strangely we had an authentic one waiting on us in Tempe.

I sampled both the Shepherd’s Pie and the Bangers & Mash. The pasty itself does not disappoint, not because it contains any unusual flavors, but because all the ingredients taste abundantly fresh. It might look small at first, but it’s heavy – you could sink a toy boat with one of these. The texture is not too unusual -Think of it as a calzone with fluffier bread and a flakier crust. It goes great with the beers on tap. Try a Boddington’s Pub Ale for that authentic pub experience. With plenty of pictures of Cornish coal miners on the walls, you won’t forget the heritage of the hearty pie you’re devouring.

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The Pork Sundae

Posted in Pork, Pork Sundae, Restaurant BBQ, STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , , , on July 1, 2008 by chomposaurus


It’s so brilliant, I can’t believe they don’t sell it on every street corner in the city and along every boardwalk on the beach. Allow me to introduce you to the Pork Sundae, served in a (styrofoam) pint glass. A layer of baked beans on the bottom, creamy coleslaw in the middle, a hearty heaping of pulled pork on top. With drizzled BBQ sauce playing the part of chocolate syrup, of course. Despite what you might think at first, the result is neither disgusting nor overpowering; it’s like eating a hearty, meaty stew with a fork. One might even find it analogous to a very sweet chili. And don’t worry about the cole slaw; I’m not the biggest fan myself, but the sweet crunch of the lettuce fits perfectly with the mushy beans and chewy pork. The important part is that all the ingredients are fresh, which they were at Blackwater BBQ in College Park, Orlando. But it wouldn’t be hard to whip up your own version, which would probably be a hit at any 4th of July Party. Just don’t steal my idea of opening a pork sundae stand on the beach.

Country Ham at The Silver Skillet

Posted in Pork, Restaurant Hams, REVIEWS [Restaurants] with tags , on June 25, 2008 by chomposaurus


On the last weekend of my swing through the south, Ian and I stopped at The Silver Skillet in Atlanta, where we were determined to try an authentic Country Ham. This ham is distinguished from a normal ham by its high sodium content. It’s so salty, in fact, that the when I ordered the waitress said, “You know that’s real salty, babe.” What makes a ridiculously salty ham even better? A bowl of red-eye gravy for dipping… that’s even saltier than the ham itself.

If you like a little meat with your salt, it’s highly recommended. And yes, after all that, Ian ordered bacon too…