Archive for March, 2009

Hey, People, We Need to Fear Tuna More Than Is Commonly Assumed

Posted in Seafood, STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , on March 27, 2009 by chomposaurus


These suckers are huge!

In all honesty, I was reading Kitchen Confidential: Adventures in the Culinary Underbelly (finally) and Anthony Bourdain’s description of the Tsukiji fish market in Tokyo fascinated me. I googled it and got these crazy pics of giant fish. It once again drove home the point: when you eat delicious tuna, you are eating a fish that is the size of a golden retriever. And just like a golden retriever, the tuna’s vacant stare conceals a desire to tear the flesh from your bones and devour the sweet string-cheese of your tendons.

In totally unrelated news, my girlfriend’s taking me out for seafood tonight. More detail about the Tokyo tuna auction here. Great video from
the same source of the auction (hooray silly Japanese yelling!):

My Pork Chop is a Chocolate Cake!

Posted in Fake Meat, STUFF ABOUT MEAT, WEBCOMICS with tags on March 25, 2009 by chomposaurus

The Chocochop: a delicious deception. From Dinosaur Comics; full details on the construction of the chocolate cake pork chop here.

Stephen Colbert Tears Down the Meat Wall

Posted in STUFF ABOUT MEAT on March 20, 2009 by chomposaurus

Stephen Colbert is a patriot, but even he knows we can’t rely on traditional sources of meat forever. It gives foreign meat cartels too much control. So he went out and found the leading meat-culture scientist to see how we could grow our own “alternative” meat here at home. Here’s the interview. Colbert didn’t say “Meat Wall,” but you know he was thinking it.

(Stupid won’t let me embed the video, so here’s the link.)

Review: Hong Kong Beef Jerky (?)

Posted in Aji Ichiban Candy Jerky, Jerky, REVIEWS on March 18, 2009 by chomposaurus

Aji Ichiban! It’s synonymous with snacks! At least in Hong Kong it is. In the U.S., it’s synonymous with, “I don’t know what anything in this store is, can we leave now?” Sparing me that experience, my friend K.N.L. purchased me a packet of candied beef jerky. She even told the cashier that “her friend would review it for his meat blog.” The cashier looked confused, smiled and said “you have a nice day, too.” Hooray for foreign relations.

I chose a picture that makes it look even shadier, so I would appear more brave for trying it.

I chose a picture that makes it look even shadier, so I would appear more brave for trying it.

So, what did it taste like? Beef Jerky marinated in grape jelly. Let me tell you, I wasn’t opposed. Sweet and salty have met with fabulous results in every culture since time immemorial. And whatever they did made the beef less chewy and more tender, something a lot of American brands lack. I didn’t eat the whole packet, though, and I washed it down with some Four Roses Kentucky Bourbon just to be safe.

If you want to chew your own, Aji Ichiban can be found in the shadier corners of New York City, Chicago, Richardson, TX, San Gabriel, CA and Rockville, Maryland. Next time I’m trying the dried crabs.

Tonguing the Lens

Posted in STUFF ABOUT MEAT on March 17, 2009 by chomposaurus


Scanwiches: somebody posts hi-res scans of their sandwiches. Hey, why not? Here’s a tongue sandwich:


Credit Card Debt? Global Warming? Just Eat More Chicken

Posted in MEAT POLITICS with tags on March 11, 2009 by chomposaurus

An interesting chart:


When the recession hits, people replace more expensive meat with chicken. No word on weather roadkill consumption has increased. But the article at discusses the climate consequences:

Now check out these carbon conversions for different kinds of meat:
1kg beef = 34.6 kg CO2
1kg lamb = 17.4 kg CO2
1kg pork = 6.35 kg CO2
1kg chicken = 4.57 kg CO2

Not too much to add here. But I will say that the benefits of eating less meat (and more efficient meat, to the extent it can be done without cruelty to the animals) are true during any point in the economic cycle. You save money and pounds by sticking with a diet that favors a few really good pieces of beef over Arby’s for lunch every other day.

I was looking for some sort of pun on eating the actual bear of “Bear Market” fame, but they all seemed too silly to bear.

Word of the Day: Speckmantel

Posted in Pork, STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , , on March 10, 2009 by chomposaurus

German, meaning “Bacon Jacket.” Our loyal correspondent P. Sundae sends this brief dispatch:

…saw this in the grocery store and thought you would enjoy it. It’s a wienerli wearing a Speckmantel (that’s a real German word, and yes, it means “Bacon Jacket”) and carrying a cheese wheel on its back.

Apparently the word is usually used to describe bacon-wrapped foods. I think I shall start referring to such delicacies this way; for example, “that filet is wearing a bacon jacket.”

Scrapple(con)quest: Victory at Brunch; or, How I Ate Some Scrapple

Posted in KNOW YOUR PIG, KNOW YOUR SAUSAGE, Pork, STRANGE MEAT, STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , , on March 9, 2009 by chomposaurus

Offal comes when you least expect it. There I was, sitting down to brunch at Egg, one of Brooklyn’s trenderias, when I noticed it under the meats section of the menu: “Scrapple, fresh from our farm, $3.” Would sweet success only cost me $3? Yes, especially if I convinced my dining companion to order the other thing I wanted to try, the candied bacon (coated in hard syrup candy, just as good as it sounds).

This grainy image is the only footage we have of scrapple in the wild.

This grainy image is the only footage we have of scrapple in the wild.

But after my long months of waiting, would scrapple live up to its expectations? After all, scrapple is hog offal (heart, liver, head etc.) combined with cornmeal and mush, typically eaten in parts of Pennsylvania, so it may be a regionally acquired taste. Let me assure you, though, that it is much better than it sounds. It was fried into moist little patties, which had the consistency of hashbrowns. The taste was similar to corned beef hash, but with a fattier tang, like lamb. I’m not sure if supermarket scrapple would be this good, but with such strong flavors it would be hard to go wrong.

So having conquered scrapple in its natural environment, I’ll be tackling it next on my home turf: cooking scrapple in my kitchen. Stay tuned to this space to see if I survive.

Bacon Today, Bacon Tomorrow

Posted in STUFF ABOUT MEAT on March 4, 2009 by chomposaurus

July 7, 2008: The Internets declare Baconmania to have arrived.

January 27, 2009: The Internets decide Baconmania has passed.

And you know what we say to that, loyal Chomposaurites: it’s all a bunch of hogwash. Because we’re still sitting back and inhaling some sizzling apple-smoked strips, and we don’t care whether anyone has it on their t-shirt or wallet or alarm clock. Bacon is here to stay, and something doesn’t have to be hip to be delicious. I am, however, looking forward to a reduction in the cost of bacon when people stop wrapping things in it just to be trendy.

(Image: Silhouette Masterpiece Theatre)