The Baconnaise Review
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Baconnaise. Where to begin? It’s bacon-flavored mayonnaise, made by J&D’s, the creators of Bacon Salt. Their motto, plain and simple, is “everything should taste like bacon.” So I grabbed myself a sample jar, determined to find out if they had reached their goal.
Now, here’s what will blow your mind about baconnaise: it contains no pork. Which means not only is it kosher, it’s also vegetarian. The bacon flavor emerges from a magical combination of salt, spices and natural flavors. Yes, that’s right, you could buy your rabbi a jar of baconnaise for the holidays (I imagine it’s delicious on a latke).
I put my baconnaise to the test in my favorite bacon-delivery device: the BLT. Ingredients: Wonderbread, lettuce, tomato, baconnaise. Pure and simple. I hacked my way into that faux-meaty bush like an intrepid explorer, and I was rewarded handsomely for my carnivorous bravery.
The question on everyone’s mind is: does it taste like bacon? Yes, it does. Rich, smoked bacon with a lot of salt (but after all, isn’t that the main flavor of real bacon?) While it’s difficult to pinpoint the flavor mix exactly, the ingredients list indicates paprika is high up, and you can definitely taste it. But I also detected a healthy bit of nut flavor, what I can only discribe as “Planter’s Mixed Nuts in a Can.” Somehow this makes it bacon-y. The spread finishes with a bit of a tang, perhaps a hint of vinegar. Everything comes together well and somehow you’re left with the distinct impression that you just ate bacon, even if your sandwich, like mine, contained no meat. The texture is fine, the same as any other egg-based spread (mayo, miracle whip, etc).
Could you eat baconnaise every day, instead of mayonnaise? Probably. After a while the flavor gets a bit overwhelming. Think, for instance about eating grape-flavored starbursts instead of a bag of grapes and you kind of get the idea. However, there’s no doubt that baconnaise is delicious. It is not gross, weird or sketchy. It only seems like it would be, because we don’t realize how common the flavors of bacon are: salt, smoke and a hint of nuttiness.
Sure, it’s a novelty item. But it’s a brilliant and useful one. Let’s face it, practical or not, baconnaise is a miracle. Baconnaise rocks the knee-high socks off a Catholic school girl.
There’s a lot more about baconnaise on the official site, including reviews, recipes and a place to buy it online. And no, I did not try baconnaise lite, but I’m sure it makes a great salad dressing.