Archive for November, 2008

Bacon Turducken, Part 2

Posted in Fowl, Pork, STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , on November 26, 2008 by chomposaurus

While I still enjoy the original, Bacon Today’s Turbaconducken is also marvelous.

Support our Turkeys, Support our President

Posted in MEAT POLITICS with tags , on November 26, 2008 by chomposaurus

Yes, the President is pardoning some turkeys today – and no, that does not mean he’s pardoning most of his cabinet. Tradition dictates that the President pardon a few lucky Meleagris gallopavo each year. The turkey, it seems, receive the type of treatment that many of our returning veterans do not.

The two 20-week-old, 45-pound white turkeys were escorted up a red carpet by Willard bellmen, who pushed the birds on a cart through the lobby and up to Room 726… The Turkey Suite was sectioned off by baby gates, keeping the birds in the foyer, which was protected with plastic, paper and sawdust. They also won’t be sleeping alone — their trainer, Peter Gruel, will be staying in the adjoining room.

But while they couldn’t sit on the couch, the turkeys did have some perks. Chef Neall Bailey prepared “turkey treats” for them, made of cracked corn, soybeans, roasted hazelnuts, oats and raisins.

And the birds had better get a good night’s sleep, for after their visit to the White House, they will fly first class on United Airlines to Los Angeles, where one of them will be the grand marshal in Thursday’s Disneyland Thanksgiving Day Parade.

The Baconnaise Review

Posted in Baconnaise with tags , , on November 25, 2008 by chomposaurus



Baconnaise. Where to begin? It’s bacon-flavored mayonnaise, made by J&D’s, the creators of Bacon Salt. Their motto, plain and simple, is “everything should taste like bacon.” So I grabbed myself a sample jar, determined to find out if they had reached their goal.

Now, here’s what will blow your mind about baconnaise: it contains no pork. Which means not only is it kosher, it’s also vegetarian. The bacon flavor emerges from a magical combination of salt, spices and natural flavors. Yes, that’s right, you could buy your rabbi a jar of baconnaise for the holidays (I imagine it’s delicious on a latke).

I put my baconnaise to the test in my favorite bacon-delivery device: the BLT. Ingredients: Wonderbread, lettuce, tomato, baconnaise. Pure and simple. I hacked my way into that faux-meaty bush like an intrepid explorer, and I was rewarded handsomely for my carnivorous bravery.

The question on everyone’s mind is: does it taste like bacon? Yes, it does. Rich, smoked bacon with a lot of salt (but after all, isn’t that the main flavor of real bacon?) While it’s difficult to pinpoint the flavor mix exactly, the ingredients list indicates paprika is high up, and you can definitely taste it. But I also detected a healthy bit of nut flavor, what I can only discribe as “Planter’s Mixed Nuts in a Can.” Somehow this makes it bacon-y. The spread finishes with a bit of a tang, perhaps a hint of vinegar. Everything comes together well and somehow you’re left with the distinct impression that you just ate bacon, even if your sandwich, like mine, contained no meat. The texture is fine, the same as any other egg-based spread (mayo, miracle whip, etc).

Could you eat baconnaise every day, instead of mayonnaise? Probably. After a while the flavor gets a bit overwhelming. Think, for instance about eating grape-flavored starbursts instead of a bag of grapes and you kind of get the idea. However, there’s no doubt that baconnaise is delicious. It is not gross, weird or sketchy. It only seems like it would be, because we don’t realize how common the flavors of bacon are: salt, smoke and a hint of nuttiness.

Sure, it’s a novelty item. But it’s a brilliant and useful one. Let’s face it, practical or not, baconnaise is a miracle. Baconnaise rocks the knee-high socks off a Catholic school girl.

There’s a lot more about baconnaise on the official site, including reviews, recipes and a place to buy it online. And no, I did not try baconnaise lite, but I’m sure it makes a great salad dressing.

Sarah Palin Conquers the Turkeys

Posted in VIDEOS with tags , on November 25, 2008 by chomposaurus

In this disturbingly comical video, Sarah Palin and a reporter have a friendly chat after the governor’s traditional pardoning of a Thanksgiving turkey. What’s disturbing, however, is the fact that behind her several less fortunate gobblers are being graphically slaughtered by a jolly Alaskan farmer.

Some Elections Don’t Need a Recount

Posted in STUFF ABOUT MEAT on November 21, 2008 by chomposaurus

I guess this district was 37% vegetarian.

(h/t: Al Dente | Reposted with working image)

Know Your Sausage: Braunschweiger

Posted in Braunschweiger, KNOW YOUR SAUSAGE on November 19, 2008 by chomposaurus

Key facts:
– It’s german.
– Its primary ingredient is pork liver.
– It’s spreadable
– It’s smoked
– It’s a great source of vitamin A!

That’s right, your dreams of eating pork liver on toast have come true with Braunschweiger, named after a city in Germany. Basically, it’s smoked liverwurst, although it usually contains a bit less meat and a bit more spice. You can even spread it on a freaking Belgian waffle (if you’re nostalgic for WWII). But it’s most commonly devoured on a sandwich with horseradish and onions.

Personally I enjoy this recipe, which includes not only pork liver, but beef liver, chicken liver and chicken herats as well! It’s a wild ride the whole family can enjoy (and/or vomit)!

Come Rock With Meat

Posted in STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags on November 18, 2008 by chomposaurus

Chartattack presents the Top Ten Songs About Meat.

4. Tom Waits “Eggs And Sausage (In A Cadillac With Susan Michelson)”
Tom Waits wrote “Eggs And Sausage (In A Cadillac With Susan Michelson)” years before the breakfast burrito was invented. This is unfortunate, as the tasty breakfast fave would’ve been right at home on his Nighthawks At The Diner standout. Eggs, sausage, chili and burgers are all mentioned in the track — certainly Tom could’ve given the breakfast burrito some lip service, too.

Or listen to MF Doom rap about the perils of beef-eating:

You Eat What The Cow Eats

Posted in Fast Food, MEAT POLITICS with tags , on November 17, 2008 by chomposaurus

corn on the cow[/caption]
And in this case, the cow has been eating mostly corn…

If you thought you were eating mostly grass-fed beef when you bit into a Big Mac, think again: The bulk of a fast-food hamburger from McDonald’s, Burger King or Wendy’s is made from cows that eat primarily corn, or so says a new study of the chemical composition of more than 480 fast-food burgers from across the nation.

Eating a diet of meat from corn-fed animals hasn’t been linked to any specific health effects in humans. But it has resulted in widespread environmental degradation, including drained water supplies, degraded soils, and reliance on fossil fuels for fertilizer, pesticides and farm machinery fuel…

Feeding so much corn to cows is bad for the environment, bad for the cows, and potentially bad for you. So, this is a very straightforward case of industrial farming leading to potential health hazards, animal mistreatment, and low-quality meat. It’s good to know that when you buy “grass-fed” beef, you’re getting something more than peace of mind.

The solution should be to eat less meat, though. Switching cows over to grass does not solve the larger problems of unbalanced food supplies and overconsumption.

Sunday “Protein”: SPAM Country

Posted in STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , on November 16, 2008 by chomposaurus

spam viking

The NYTimes reports that a decrease in consumer confidence means an increase in sales of the best meat a shiny buffalo nickel can buy:

Through war and recession, Americans have turned to the glistening canned product from Hormel as a way to save money while still putting something that resembles meat on the table. Now, in a sign of the times, it is happening again, and Hormel is cranking out as much Spam as its workers can produce.

I have no comment, other than to say that I’d rather eat SPAM sandwiches for lunch than eat Big Macs every day.

And now, check out a photo essay from the SPAM hall of shame fame.

Review: Trader Joe’s Meatless Meatballs

Posted in Fake Meat, REVIEWS, TJ's Meatless Meatballs with tags on November 14, 2008 by chomposaurus

For this meatless friday, we give you the best meatless meat deal on the planet: a bigass sack of TJ’s soyballs for under five bucks. Do they taste like real meatballs? Not quite. But they have the texture just right – chewy yet delicate – and they look damn good in the sauce. They come a bit underseasoned, so you can add whatever spices feel right. You might be looking for a more detailed review, but there isn’t one. If you like meatballs, but don’t want to eat meat, buy these. You won’t be disappointed.