Archive for August, 2008

Hot Dog Etiquette

Posted in Hot Dogs, VIDEOS with tags , on August 8, 2008 by chomposaurus

It boils down to: “don’t be a douche when eating a hotdog.” I do enjoy the fact that you are not allowed to take more than 5 bites to eat a standard-sized frank. I think that rule should be strictly enforced.

Cheddar-Sausage Muffins

Posted in Pork with tags , on August 7, 2008 by chomposaurus

Usually we shy away from straight-up recipe posts, but considering yesterday’s discussion of cheddarwurst, this pastry recipe was too much to ignore. Check it out at Vicarious Foodie.

Disney’s Magic Kingdom (of Turkey Legs)

Posted in Fowl, STUFF ABOUT MEAT, VIDEOS with tags , , , , on August 7, 2008 by chomposaurus

Mark Summers double dares you to eat that freakishly large piece of meat!

You know they use the excess grease from these to keep Walt Disney’s head alive.

Know Your Sausage: Cheddarwurst

Posted in Cheddarwurst, Hot Dogs, KNOW YOUR SAUSAGE, STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , , , on August 6, 2008 by chomposaurus

Ask any scientist what the most astounding invention of the last century or so was, and they will answer, “the injection of cheese into a frankfurter to form a cheesy sausage.” If they do not answer in such manner, then they are a terrorist disguised as a scientist and you should report them immediately to the Department of Homeland Security. If the feds don’t listen, report them to Hebrew National, because God shall deal harshly with their souls.

The genius of the idea lies in its simplicity: tunnels of molten cheese lying inside spicy sausage which ooze out when you bite into it. If you don’t mind a little mess, it’s heavenly.

Who invented Cheddarwurst, though? Is that even the official name? The internet provides few clues. Even pictures are scarce. Hillshire Farms (a division of Sara Lee) seems to have the market cornered on grocery store cheese-filled sausage. There are a few “gourmet” places to get them, too: we found them at Bean’s, Crawford Sausage and Dietz & Watson.

We’ll continue to search for the origins of this magical – dare I say, miraculous – creation. Look for Part 2 of this “Know Your Sausage” in the coming weeks.

Facebook Friends Eat More Meat

Posted in STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , on August 5, 2008 by chomposaurus

Want to get an even bigger daily injection of meat? Then friend Chomposaurus on Facebook. We’ll post links and yummy pictures there that may not make it to the blog.

And now, HAM.

(from Fulks Run Grocery, VA)

Your Local KFC Could Be a Terrorist Trap!

Posted in Fast Food, MEAT POLITICS with tags , , on August 5, 2008 by chomposaurus

As I’ve always suspected, that KFC down the block simply can’t be trusted under any circumstances. Here’s what happened. Fox news, basing their report on a few pictures and some emails by soldiers, ran a piece celebrating the opening of a KFC in the previously terrorist-infested Fallujah area of Iraq. Things must be better, they said, if you can get a bucket of popcorn chicken after hitting a bag or three of goat wine.

The only problem? The KFC was fake. TPM did some actual reporting – an activity largely foreign to Fox News – and called KFC, who denied opening any outlets in Fallujah. Now the real question is: were those soldiers even eating chicken, or did some child’s poor pet sacrifice itself so a crafty Iraqi could profit from our desire for greasy crap food?

My bigger issue with the whole fiasco is the fact that we’re celebrating the opening of a KFC at all. Globalization has allowed American fast food chains to open in a lot of countries who regularly appear on human rights watch lists. Having an Arby’s down the street isn’t a sign that everything is a-ok in your country. It’s a sign that someone wants your money in exchange for a disgusting grease bomb.

So let’s look for a better sign that our troops are succeeding than the fact that the Iraqi middle class can order off the value menu, ok? Maybe, like, a working police force, education system and utilities infrastructure? Ok.

The Maple Bacon Donut

Posted in Pork, STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , , , on August 4, 2008 by chomposaurus

If you look up “perfection” in the Oxford English Dictionary, next to the definition you will find a picture of the Maple Bacon Bar, the world’s most perfect donut. Produced by Voodoo Doughnuts in Portland, OR, this baby can be had 24-hours a day for those lucky and heart-disease-ridden souls who live in the pacific northwest. If you can handle the flavor, I can’t imagine any better way to eat your greasy meat. As one reviewer said, it’s just like spilling syrup all over your bacon… and then deep-frying it.

Pictures & reviews below: Continue reading

A Farm Boy Empathizes

Posted in BBQ, Fowl, MEAT POLITICS, Pork, STUFF ABOUT MEAT with tags , , , , on August 1, 2008 by chomposaurus

New York Times columnist Nicholas Kristof, who usually manages to impress me only with the stubborn denial of his neoconservatism, wrote a great piece this week about California’s Prop 2, which, if approved, would keep factory farms from raising hogs, chickens or veal in small cages. Anyone concerned with eating healthier, more humane meat should support this initiative. Similar ballot measures have passed in Florida, Oregon, Arizona and Colorado.

But the best part of the column comes when Kristof describes his own experience slaughtering geese on his family farm.

Then there were the geese, the most admirable creatures I’ve ever met… Once a month or so, we would slaughter the geese. When I was 10 years old, my job was to lock the geese in the barn and then rush and grab one. Then I would take it out and hold it by its wings on the chopping block while my Dad or someone else swung the ax.

The 150 geese knew that something dreadful was happening and would cower in a far corner of the barn, and run away in terror as I approached…

Very often, one goose would bravely step away from the panicked flock and walk tremulously toward me. It would be the mate of the one I had caught, male or female, and it would step right up to me, protesting pitifully. It would be frightened out of its wits, but still determined to stand with and comfort its lover.

I tried to pet a goose when I was a small child, and it responded by pursuing me with ferocity. At the time I thought all geese were crazy; now I understand that there was probably something more going on. People are already weirded out by eating cute animals (cats and rabbits being unpopular for bbq’s); will they soon be just as repulsed by eating smart ones? Geese and pigs, as Kristof writes, “adhere to family values that would shame most of those who dine on them.”

Is there a slippery slope between this and vegetarianism, or at least (flavor-of-the-month vocab word) pescatarianism? It’s difficult to imagine that. I like to think that it’s a path where our awareness of animal rights leads us to eat a healthier and more sustainable amount of meat. Hopefully, states like Florida and California will take the lead in making sure that meat is humanely raised.