Quality Fast Food: The Zax Attack!

No, I am not referencing Saved by the Bell, so don’t get excited, 80’s nerds. I am instead talking about a decidedly 21st century phenomenon: a fried chicken fast food restaurant that isn’t run by fundamentalists or at war with the hobos. For many states of the Confederacy are now graced by the brilliant, the beautiful, the tenderly-greasy chicken of Zaxby’s.


The chicken tastes fresh, no processed lumps or strange mush. It lives up to the word tender. And yes, the chicken is both very salty and very greasy, but in a pleasing way, since the whole thing falls apart in a rewardingly moist manner, without chewiness. The seasoning is strong, too, unlike KFC which relies on pure salt-overload and crunchiness to mask a complete lack of flavor. Alongside the chicken you’ll find hearty crinkle fries and highly-addictive Texas toast.

The best part: The Zax Sauce. This creamy, tangy orange-colored dressing, with hints of ranch and thousand island, comes in big ass tubs with everything you order. And indeed, you can dip anything in it: fries, chicken, Texas toast, even put it on your salad (excuse me, Zalad), and the results are delicious. What’s in Zax Sauce? The website says: 17g of fat and 650g of sodium for every 43g serving. But I know the only ingredient is: sexiness. That’s right, Zax Sauce is damn sexy. It kind of makes you feel guilty, how much you want it. Which is why they charge 50 cents per extra tub.

So go find one today and celebrate the fact that America still fries the best fast food chicken in the world.

[Note: We have a new category, Quality Fast Food. Send in your suggestions for reviews!]

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6 Responses to “Quality Fast Food: The Zax Attack!”

  1. Natalie Says:

    I’m a Zaxby’s fan, try the wings next time. Those are really good too.

    Does Chick-fil-A count as quality fast food? Because I definitely love it.

  2. chomposaurus Says:

    Chick-fil-A is in the nether region of “strange fast food places”. But they have the best breakfast sandwich in the history of the world.

  3. How is Chick fil A strange?

  4. chomposaurus Says:

    Closed on Sunday = no hangover cures. Need I say more?

  5. The owner is just big into Jesus.

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