Finally I can have Arby’s Roast Beef on my Wendy’s Chicken Sandwich

Giant Hats Don\'t LieAccording to various news sources, the conglomerate investment corporation known as Triarc – aka the owner of Arby’s – bought the red-headed lass, Wendy’s. Of course, I don’t eat at either place, because their meat comes from tortured, chemically-altered animals, their restaurants are filthy, and their workers are generally mistreated. But Arby’s used to be my favorite – I think they put something on that beef to make it extra sweet, and Wendy’s has the best fried chicken sandwich of any fast food dump. The chance to combine the two creates some interesting mental pictures. Sadly, though, they won’t be combining the restaurants… probably a good thing, since anytime I drive by a combo Pizza Hut/Taco Bell/Long John Silver’s I throw up in my mouth a little.

I’ll say this: Dave probably wouldn’t approve of his daughter being bought and sold like a common whore. But he would approve of her getting $4.2 billion… anything under 4 and he’d be rolling in his grave. Which I assume is a giant deep fryer filled with liquid gold and kept at a constant temperature of 400 degrees Fahrenheit.

2 Responses to “Finally I can have Arby’s Roast Beef on my Wendy’s Chicken Sandwich”

  1. Less meat-centric but still interesting to me: this union also brings together perhaps the two finest ice creamesque desserts in the cardboardy wasteland of fast food cuisine; namely, the delicious jamocha shake and the Frostee. Even the Frostee root beer float is solid. Note that I say this without having tried Carl’s Jr.’s much-flogged real ice cream shakes, owing to the fact that I refuse to support bestiality porn as advertising.

  2. chomposaurus Says:

    Now I really want to dip my Big Montana in an extra-large Frostee.

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