Brazilian BBQ Review: Texas de Brazil
[Locations in Florida, Texas, Louisiana, Illinois, Colorado, Nevada etc.]
Texas de Brazil does not hide its intent. Whether it’s the walk-in, all-glass wine cellar, the room devoted to the salad bar, or the ridiculous nomenclature formed by a brutal, half-translated collision of the world’s two most meat-centric cultures, a diner knows what they are climbing into: a hot tub full of meat. This chain represents the ultimate in indulgence, making the best type of meat there is (rare, salty, on a sword) and then letting you eat as much as you possibly can without so much as shifting in your seat. In order to cut their losses, they try and stuff the salad bar full of tasty sushi, cheese and (surprisingly) salad, but the true pro knows how to pace him- or herself. And, of course, you must avoid the $12 martinis, because, let’s face it, after a good two pounds of meat you won’t be feeling that martini even if it was 95% Patron Silver.
It occurs to me that I need to write a primer on Brazilian BBQ: how it works, why it is special among meat venues, and why it is somewhat dangerous to live close to one. But to go over the basics quickly: you get to eat as much meat as you want. The meat is delivered to you on huge skewers by masterful carvers. And there is a single price. At Texas de Brazil, it’s high: about $50 per person for dinner. But I’ve been to some very good Brazillian BBQ’s that only charged $20 or so, albeit with much more limited salad bars and slower meat turnaround.